Here are some qualifying questions:

Are your use of quotations in your first line meant to imply that I am being judgmental? If so, I think you may be falling prey to that good ol’ Myth of Objectivity. When I refer to ideas that are “wrong,” I’m not talking about personal tastes (“You liked ‘Zach and Miri Make a Porno?’ You are so WRONG!”), I’m talking about provable falsehoods (“Marriage is a sacred institution that hasn’t changed in 5,000 years”) and disingenuous assertions (“It’s not that I’m anti-gay, I’m pro-marriage”) that should not go unchecked. Just because someone has an opinion, doesn’t mean it’s a valid opinion. A quick example would be my opinion which you didn’t just let slide past, but took the time to question (for which, by the way, I’m thankful).

Do you have some examples of progress between two groups with wildly imbalanced power happening as a result of respectful dialog? That’s how the conflict might end (“Let’s not fight anymore. I won’t ask and you don’t tell.”), but that’s not how it begins. Would you say that the recent sit-in at Chicago’s Republic Windows & Doors was polite dialog? The company politely told the workers that they were shutting the place down in three days (direct violation of contract) and the workers rudely refused to leave. Now the bank has agreed to give the loan to keep the factory operational. What do you think the workers would have gotten if they had politely asked for another meeting?

Is there a difference between asking the powerless to be “polite” and asking them to be “silent?”

Perhaps followed by asking them clarifying questions…..

When people are given the opportunity to speak their mind, they are more likely to become self-aware that perhaps they are being silly.. than if someone calls them names or insists that they are wrong…

Besides… since when are YOU right about everything? Progress seems to happen around respectful dialog…

Conflict might not be the best strategy..

Respectfully,

Michael Sicurello